Wavering thoughts of hopelessness or despair are all too common when we are in the shadows of illusion of pain and suffering. In the darkness of the womb where change manifests, we sink in the unknowing fears. Even with extreme resourcefulness, sometimes we are hidden from answers because of how our minds lead us to seek resolution with network patterning that is no longer useful. When we scan our exterior, we look left, and it appears to look potentially self destructive with resonance of the past mistakes and negative behavioural patterns. When we look right, it appears to be full of chaos and distraction from others, our surroundings, and the world itself. When we look up we see the sky in it’s vastness with limitless possibility, even though we feel we do not have wings to fly, the potential is clear. When we look down, we realize the earth is holding us, supporting us, and is the foundation of security no matter what is going on around us. Each way we look, the answers do not seem to appear, but many other factors do. When we know there is potential for something yet to be, that is a momentary glimpse of hope that in fact does exist with a multitude of probabilities at hand. This is our gateway to grow beyond our comfort zone into one of those probabilities. This is also our invitation to be still if we feel stuck, however still grasping onto the concept that we have a say in what happens next. Our stuck point is our return to innocence, and our innocence is rooted in our unique colourful creativity that transforms fear into love.
The answer without an answer is all too simple. It is a quote that you may have heard many times – “The only way out is in. ~ Junot Díaz.”
Breathing in the consciousness of the Divine, we falter when we think we can fail. There is no such thing. We think we fail because we set ourselves up in unreasonable circumstances with expectations and desires that may not match our greater purpose and destiny. We feel we are not in our full expression the way we want to be, or that we are not who we used to be, but not yet recognisable. These “failures” are but a chapter in our journey, a lesson, an experience, a redirection to further our authenticity, or merely our fears telling us that we failed, when in actuality we are on the brink of expansion. I invite you to bring your awareness to your heart centre, to the inhale and exhale of your breath, to the rhythm of your heart’s beat. This is the reminder that God exists within you, and has never left you, as you are God, thus the creator of all possibilities in the surrender to this moment of purity. Your presence to one breath relieves all programs of fear and failure, reuniting you with the eternity of all creation. You have access to eternity, therefore access to unlimited miraculous possibility. You are also the accumulation of all of the ancestors that came before you with whom transverse time to become you.
As humans, most of us were taught to obey and please the things outside of us to attain value, which began, if not before hand, when we went to primary school. When we seek validation outwardly, in actuality we do fail because we are asking for an intangible thing from an inconsistent source of judgement outside our self, which ultimately is our downfall. We expect miracles to happen when people praise us, give us attention, build us up and give us esteem when in reality we lose that the moment they stop, as well as our truth. We don’t heal or change just because we want to, we must decide to and put in the work, but most importantly have the belief that there is no failing at it. Life is a journey of trial and error, intuition and logic, and only we know it’s true intimacy, and only Source knows the process and outcome. We can definitely make it harder on ourselves and prolong our shift based on not having acceptance where we need to, in order to release what continues to get it the way.
I deal with fear and anxiety regularly when confronted with C-PTSD triggers, and even though I am aware, there are programs yet to be healed still running in my nervous system and do not actually represent the NOW moment of truth. It takes a little while for me to regulate, have radical acceptance and patience to regain connection to my infinite Divinity. Presently looking at the left over pieces of what life once was, of who I once was, lies a total blank canvas painted black exuding the sense of overwhelm of the big life changes in all facets that WILL inevitably take place. The weight of personal responsibility is daunting when frozen and unable to see any other colour but black to manifest a new life with, desperate to see the rainbow colour palette appear. In this kind of mental state, what ultimately reenacts is my old fear of time, of failure, of missing something, and ruining something or letting someone down, including myself. That fear is what keeps me stuck. It shuts the door on my ability to embrace the truth – My truth! And it dis-enables me from seeing the entirety of this experience of what I am meant to learn and let go of, forgive and move on from, in order to let another death naturally progress itself into a beautiful re-birth. Any visions for the future or insight gained shatters each time I stress using logic about what I can’t do or figure out. The belief that I can’t, or aren’t already healed and in full vitality with material success is stopping my growth and inhibiting my process forcing a feeling of stuckness and vulnerability. This includes the lingering thought that inflicts and creates such frustration within, wavering the vibration of victim hood to circumstance. This is the result of trauma. It feels like pushing my way uphill everyday on the tiresome and lonesome journey I feel will never end or ever appear different. When in fact, the moment I realise I’m already at the top of the mountain looking down, and there is no more striving, that I am right here, already right now, the future doesn’t exist as it’s all happening at the same time – illness and wellness, process and the completion, the holding on and the letting go, I am set free.
I forget, we all forget that time doesn’t exist and either does fear. Fear is a program not a belief, and our perception is everything in creating our reality. This program can be changed, released, and your Higher Self come back down to guide you again – and here’s how to make this happen!
Return to innocence, the thing that got away from you. Play! Consciously! When did you lose this connection and memory of who you are and what you are capable of? The answer is – since you became human and were brought into this world through trauma, and ever since attracting more trauma and facing more of these moments. So you lost it when you arrived here on earth, and have been unable to sustain this connection of trust that you will return. Therefore, going inward in meditation, in trance of the now moment and journeying back to the womb, where it all began to retrieve soul fragments is a start. Journeying back to those lives that are still keeping you trapped in looping timelines with past life regressions are essential. You will begin to feel more of source energy, that which is you. But, the easiest way to shift now: You Put pen/crayon to paper and draw every stroke of feeling without judgement. Move your body in whatever ways it guides you surrendering to the intelligence that exists within it. Sing like a bird making melodies with your inner voice radiating new frequency. Play out in nature where the joy of miracles exist. Talk to an animal, hug your neighbour, watch a flower blow in the wind in its magnificent fractal symmetry perfect from every angle. STOP everything and inhale the wisdom that you are also the flower. Breathe in the curiosity, the rainbow of magical joy that children feel as soon as they wake up each morning. Close your eyes and hold hands with your waking unconscious self that is working behind the scenes, and the answers will become clear. You will find it because you never lost it – it was merely hidden from you. You gained some things that were your teachers and they overstayed their welcome past their lessons, and when you discover they are no longer needed, you will become all you already are, and your unconscious and conscious self will join, overlap and become one. Your Higher self will no longer be separate from you, you will be the embodiment of it. Divine sensations and messages will begin to flow through you, and with repeated practice, you will regain the belief in what resides within you and the energy that you are. You will be set free from the trap of your mind field. You will become the maker of your reality, and the shades will rise with the moment of a new day, new you, and new view of all your dreams that will shine clearly for you to step into.
~ Violet Rays Jane
(Please refer to my other article https://violetraysjane.com/2015/09/27/5-steps-to-stay-in-your-light-when-things-appear-dark/ “5 Steps to Stay in your Light When things leave you Dark” 2015)